Choosing Integrity

by Gwen Randall-Young

There comes a time in each of our lives when we must honestly face ourselves and ask what we are really about. In the privacy of our own hearts and minds, we can look at our deepest motivations, and the level of integrity with which we conduct ourselves.

I remember in grade school, when the teacher demanded to know who that was who was talking. There was no way I was going to admit to it, but my heart was pounding so hard in my chest, I thought for sure that would give me away. I was relieved not to be caught, but I did not like that uncomfortable feeling of hiding the truth. When I reached the age where we girls started to gossip, no matter how juicy the news, something in me felt bad when I was talking behind someone's back. Nobody told me it was wrong, but still, it just didn't feel good.

We all have that internal signal that alerts us when we are out of alignment with our highest truth, and when we are not acting in a way that serves the highest good of all concerned. Some have tuned this out or allow a negative or aggressive aspect of personality to drown it out. This is like disconnecting the smoke alarm. The problem is, ignoring that inner guidance results in lots of little "fires" that go unchecked. We create difficulty for ourselves by having to cover up behaviors or motivations that we don't want to admit to adding stress to our lives.

Early on, we are taught that honesty is the best policy. If we act with integrity, then we never have anything to hide. Rationalizing unethical or negative behavior does not make it okay, any more than taking painkillers fixes a toothache. Being mean to someone, because they are mean to you, or dishonoring someone, because they do not honor you, means that you are maintaining the status quo at the level of the lowest common denominator. If you act from your higher self, and with integrity, you raise the level of the whole process. You become more conscious of what you are really doing in any situation or relationship.

A good practice might be to stand before the mirror each night, look yourself in the eye, and ask yourself if you lived well that day. If that day was pulled out of all the days of your life, like a snapshot of who you are, would you be satisfied that it represented the most honorable part of you? If not, you are undervaluing yourself. You are playing small. The reason that the stage of life is so big is so that none of us have to play bit parts. Go ahead. Be a star in your own life. Be the best that you are. Always.

Gwen Randall-Young is an author and award-winning psychologist. For permission to reprint this article, or to obtain books, CDs or MP3s, visit www.gwen.ca. Follow Gwen on Facebook for inspiration.

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